2016

The middle of October this year is unlike other election October’s in that I know that whatever happens will just happen..and I know whether “crooked”Hillary wins or the pussy grabbing “Don” we will certainly have an apocalypse ..

So my question is who are the clowns? Are they Democrats or Republicans? They like to jump out and scare people and they are not who they appear to be so… Is that a Red State? And that blood they wear on the clown face, is that fake blood or real blood, and when we have that revolution the Russians are planning, how many of these clowns.. don’t speak English..? And have the signed up for Medical insurance under Obamacare? If they signed up for Affordable care act it’s ok but if it’s Obamacare they probably are liberals, and they don’t work,.. get food stamps and party all day in the woods so they can go out and scare people at night, they get free everything while they are homeless campers in the woods..have they registered to vote?

this year we have (2) medical marijuana bills on the ballot in Arkansas, that should say a lot about the state of our mindset..God Bless America!🇺🇸

the reluctant caregiver

It was the day after Christmas, when I finally figured out what my role in life has been and probably will be in the future, I don’t know why it took me so long for the light to suddenly come on, I am a caregiver.. not by choice, it has been forced on me.

I have been reluctant to accept it.

It all started when I was a little girl and my Dad would bring in the little puppies, pigs, calves, and even once a preemie baby horse, and I would set in to trying to save them, all night poking milk down their throat and keeping them warm by the fireplace wrapped up in a blanket, in my lap.. then I would wake up in the morning and most of the time they would be gone and I would be there, a little dazed under my blanket, empty handed.. I would look at my Dad and say what happened and he would say, it’s gone.  A stab of pain, a sense of loss and failure, and the numbness of trying to carry on and keep going.

so I had my training early in life about death and destruction, maybe too much.. I am tiring of this “role”… but I still found myself poking milk down a new puppy that my son’s girlfriend’s daughter got for Christmas, that was brought here too early, it doesn’t have teeth yet, it should still be with it’s Mama, but the ignorance and excitement of a young broke  Mom, launched it full speed into my life on Christmas morning as a present to a 4 year old.. bound and determined for it to survive and not be another failure on my part, I have taken to the care of it .. today it is getting teeth and walking so maybe it will survive..

My Dad told me the Bible says that God will supply all your needs, and that he needed me to help him sometimes, that’s why I got to take care of those animals, to help out in their time of need.. I read in the newspaper the other day, that the Pope had announced that animals get to go to heaven, I have felt that way for a long time… I hope so.

TGIF and its almost over…

It has been my first week back at my job and its been ok..second shift gives me my morning time to blog..I usually get by on 6 hours of heavy sleep..I can go to sleep late and still get up early..
my fat cat knocked the phone off the end table twice this morning so I guess shes back to normal..she did that a lot in Vallarta..
my house looks like a wreck..I’ll clean it tomorrow…
I found Kenzie’s Christmas present yesterday- I just have to go back with dinero to get it…One more week and its over..most of my life Christmas has just presented stress to me..this year will be no different except I don’t care that much about anything anymore..I guess I have finally learned to accept reality and quit fighting it…just go with the flow of the moment..
2015 should be a better year for me..I say that every year..but this year I mean it..
I wonder why we do this to ourselves? Baby Jesus didn’t make a list of things he wanted for Santa Claus..Mother Mary didn’t bake cookies and candy and spread sugar around..And Joseph the great man that he was didn’t rush out to get a tree and lights put up…we have manipulated it to be a big money maker and stress giver to our families..I put up an old tree
and an old wreath..I’m buying one nice present for a little girl that makes me smile and I’m baking a turkey that was extra from Thanksgiving..and baking another pumpkin pie cause I have another can in the pantry.. I’m wishing Jesus a Happy Birthday!

Reflecting on Bryan

Yesterday was my son’s 27th birthday, I got him a card with a 91 million dollar winning Mega Million lottery ticket, he seemed pleased. I figure he’ll end up with half of it and then I can retire and let him pay the bills. I told him the story about when he was born, how they accidentally slipped and cut my bladder while they were doing the caesarean and how I nearly died.. But they took the sheet off me when I started having a heart beat after hearing him cry for the first time,I was in another place and somebody said that they would take me back across the river,, the place was beautiful and so were the people there…maybe it was him ? ..so I woke up to bright white and then the sheet came off.. My Dr. Was looking down at me with tears in his eyes and I said “are you crying?”.. He said “we thought we lost you.” I said, ” I’m back”…
I must be hard to kill. I had whooping cough when I was 6 weeks old,
I heard two different people get blamed for giving it to me.. One was my Uncle’s kids.. My first cousins.. And the second was my Great Uncle’s kids my second cousins.. It might have been both.. Whoever it was they had older kids that were sick with it and they came to see my Grandma and I guess I was there and contracted it.. It sounded bad to me, they said I turned blue and couldn’t breathe from all the stuff clogging my air passages, my Mom and my Grandma Martin ( my Mom’s mom) turned me upside down and stuck their fingers down my throat to get me cleaned out and opened up.. It was a 24-7 operation, my Grandma told me one time she thought she lost me cause I was blue and she yelled “breathe,” in my face and I finally took a gulp of air..she sit up with me at night, so my Mom could during the day, my Grandma was a most beautiful, gentle and kind woman. I miss her.
Back to my son, my son was born on Pearl Harbor day. It was pre-arranged that way on a Monday..he told me one time he thought he might be a re-incarnated Japanese person because he likes old Nissans..he is very analytical, he’s a laid off car mechanic at the moment but he returns to school in January to learn more fabrication skills, like welding..
He was never sick when he was a baby and nothing bad happened to him till he was 3 1/2 years old and happened to get hit head on with a tornado, I hung onto him so all he lost was half of his middle “bird” finger on his right hand..he stuck his hand out of the coat I had him wrapped up in and grabbed ahold of my hair about the same time I got hit with a cast iron fireplace insert, they said his little 3 year old finger being there took enough impact off my head that it probably saved me. And at the same time me hanging onto him and trying to protect him with my body saved him, so I guess you could say we are close.. We nearly died together, more than once.

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